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Friday, March 30, 2012

Top 10 Foreign McDonald’s Menu Items

One of the great things about globalization is that no matter where you go, you can always find a piece of familiar Americana there to protect your senses from all the foreign devilry going on around you. Nowhere has it ever been more evident than with fast food joints. Today McDonald’s restaurants can be found in the deepest, darkest corners of the planet, making sure American tourists never open themselves to new tastes and experiences. Or rather, you hope that it’d be the case. Sadly, nowadays McD’s have forgotten their proud roots and embraced new cuisines and cultures driven by ridiculous things such as market penetration, common sense and profits. This produced a bunch of unfamiliar, international McMenu items like:

10. The KiwiBurger

Kiwi Burger
From: New Zealand
McDonald’s introduced the KiwiBurger in New Zealand back in 1991 and since then the sandwich has been the Futurama of fast food. No, not because it was a really well made sandwich with a large, loyal fanbase, but because it kept getting cancelled. It was slated for a final cancellation in 2009, but what really became of it is anyone’s guess, as you can still allegedly find a couple of places that carry it.
And why not, just check out what goes inside it: beef, tomato, lettuce, onions (off to a great start), beetroot (gha?), egg (really?) and of course kiw… What? There’s no actual kiwi fruit in this? Really? Huh. But it’s called KiwiBurger, right? Oh man, I just know this is offensive in some way but I can’t exactly explain why.

9. The McLobster

Mc Lobster
From: parts of Canada, New England
Admittedly I am cheating a little because you can get the McLobster in the US, but I think we can all agree that New England hardly counts as part of the United States (it even has “England” in the title!)
The McLobster, as 3 months of tiresome research on my part have shown, is a lobster sandwich. Its primary ingredients are lobster and bread. The sandwich has actually been around for a couple of years and at one time there were even plans to introduce it to restaurants nationwide. But then the cook at McDonald’s HQ ran out and someone realized that it would impossible to convince Middle American landlocked states that their “lobster” isn’t actually 2 weeks old or really made from ground up homeless guys.

8. McRice Burger

Rice Burger
From: Taiwan, Singapore, Indonesia, Philippines etc.
In another example of how McDonald’s international menu items are clearly thought up by 10 year olds, here’s the Asian rice burger. No, it’s not rice between two pieces of bread. That would be silly. It’s rice formed into buns with beef or chicken between them, which makes a lot more sense. You know how people are always complaining that you can’t eat rice with your hands.
This sandwich is actually quite popular in Taiwan and just like the McLobster there have been plans to maybe make it a permanent McMenu item. But that will of course never happen. If you can convince an American to eat rice without beans in it then CALL THE COPS because he’s clearly a communist spy!

7. McSwarama

McShawarma
From: Israel
You know, there’s lots of talk about pain and suffering going on around the world, but the one tragedy that is often neglected is how some folks can’t enjoy a good ol’ slab of fried beef with bread due to, say, religious reasons.
It is with such people in mind that McDonald’s has invented the McShawarma for the Israeli market. It’s one of the country’s kosher menu items, and consists of turkey shawarma in pita bread. But isn’t it still basically meat in a type of bread? Well, yes, but the main difference here is that the meat is barbecued, not fried, without any of that sweet, heart-molesting McDonald’s fat. In other words: a sham and an abomination.

6. Spam & Eggs

Spam and Eggs
From: Hawaii
The only real reason why I am not a corporate executive is because I cannot think like one. Where I see McDonald’s as an unhealthy fast food burger joint, an executive sees it as an unhealthy fast food joint PERIOD. Once you have that down, all sorts of opportunities for new heart-attacky menu items open up. Enter the Spam & Eggs set from Hawaiian McDonald’s.
In 2002, 78 restaurants in Hawaii started to test out dinner sets consisting of rice, spam and eggs. Though Spam might very well have a case in mainland US to soon be recognized as a synonym of “pig lips and anus” it’s actually quite popular in Hawaii, so it probably doesn’t seem all that weird to them. Still, we’re talking about the place where guys used to wear grass skirts, so take that for whatever it’s worth.

5. The Mega Teriyaki Burger

Mega Teryaki Burger
From: Japan
The typical American’s love affair with teriyaki sauce borders on the erotic, so it’s hard to see why McDonald’s Teriyaki Burgers aren’t sold all over the states. They’re however all the rage in Japan, where the sauce originated. But one day the Japanese looked at their puny teriyaki-drenched burgers and said to themselves: “No… this will not suffice.”
And that’s how we got the Mega Teriyaki. Essentially a Big Mac swimming in the sweet, dark, teriyaki sauce and mayo, it’s the only known sandwich in existence which comes with a side order of fries, nuggets or a prefilled Last Will and Testament. OK, that’s obviously not true, but it should be.

4. The McCurry Pan

McCurry Pan
From: India
McDonald’s is the world’s largest buyer of beef. In India the cow is considered holy. You’d think that the two would be about as compatible as a sack of toddlers and a barrel full of battery acid, but dammit people, there are profits to be made and gold-filled swimming pools to be bought! Say hello to the McCurry Pan.
The McCurry Pan is an original, surprisingly complex McCreation made especially for the Indian market. It’s a crispy bread box of sorts (as in, a box made out of bread) filled with a creamy sauce of mushrooms, broccoli and bell peppers (there also exists a chicken version). Not only does it look awesome, it also actually consists of real vegetables, while back in the US it took months of negotiations before all of us begrudgingly accepted onions and lettuce in our fast food. I actually kinda feel bad for mocking the McCurry Pan and would really like to try it…

3. McLaks

McLaks
From: Norway
Norway = Norwegian Salmon = Salmon Burger
Bam! I think I am getting a hang of this whole McDonald’s marketing mentality.
All the way back in 1997, which was 14 freaking years ago people (Gosh, we’re old) McDonald’s introduced the salmon sandwich in Norway to some initial success. Unlike their regular fish sandwich, the McLaks was meant to be more regional, healthier and lower on fat, meaning that there actually used to be a large Norwegian demographic which went looking for healthy foods at McDonald’s. But they got what was coming to them when the sandwich was discontinued after giving a whole bunch of people food poisoning. I still can’t decide whether that is hilarious or just a little funny.

2. Gallo Pinto

Gallo Pinto
From: Costa Rica
Not everything has the honor to be called your national dish. Every food item with a claim to such a title has to be rooted deeply in the history and culture of the country it comes from, capturing its essence inside one, tasty, edible package which should be treated with the respect it deserves. Then there’s Gallo Pinto, Costa Rica’s national dish which you can get at their local McDonald’s.
The dish itself is very simple. Basically, it’s fried rice and beans, eaten primarily for breakfast. The McD version is also served with scrambled eggs and sour cream. Man, who said that national heritage cannot be streamlined, packaged and distributed by a multinational conglomerate? Actually it was me, but what I really said is that it “shouldn’t be.”

1. McWedding

McWedding
From: Hong Kong
Yeah, noticed how this article wasn’t titled the Top 10 Foreign McDonald’s Sandwiches? Hell, even if it was, I would still totally mention this thing because… No, seriously, McDonald’s offers weddings in Hong Kong! What the what? Oh Boy, I know what this is, I died and went to Hack Comedian Heaven where easy targets like this actually exist. Dammit, I bet I died on the toilet too…
Anyway, yeah, McWeddings.
Two things that we have to make clear are that McDonald’s restaurants have a generally better image in Asia than in the West and that weddings there are also insanely expensive. Put two and two together and you end up with the McWedding instead of four (that’s the magic power of Asian math, which is better than white people math). The wedding receptions offered by McDonald’s take place in one of their restaurants as the couple and their guests feast on burgers, fries and shakes. Stacks of apple pie act as the cake. No, really.

by Rick Raule

Thursday, March 29, 2012

Pattaya Park Tower

On the following Mini Siam day, we went to [Info] kashtaniv on the radio (about a radio to listen to Pattaya and why, I will some other time sure to tell). Compatriot, not being rich knowledge of routers, very shmouterah complained idle for unclear reasons the Internet. My brother - a lover of good people to help, Especially if they have something too well done,'s always ready to help. With Radzivil we got about three days. Kind of like plump too early to have a something to do. Chestnuts waved his hand to us "there" and said that there is some observation. Well, we "there" and went. A long way behind, walked, groaning under the heat, a couple of times zarulili in any enclosed yard. To that observation, where the Buddha had to either lie, or sit and do not come out, but saw the high tower sticking out somewhere on the coast. They went at it like unto the ships the lighthouse. The street leading to the tower was a piece of "the Russian area." Really, at Bicske (beach - beach), where we lived, there is no such. And then throughout the Russian letters, Russian music and Russian people)))


1. The turret was not horrible cho, and the highest in Pattaya. This was the hotel in Jomtien. And there is a viewing platform at the top (or rather, something like the opposite - a tower with built hotel).





2. Located entot Tower in Pattaya Park. In addition to the hotel, there is a water park, amusement park. Well, we bought a ticket for the elevator and rode to the top. I, of course, much love from the heights to look at any city. Especially one in which the first and still poorly orientirueshsya. Almost every city in which I was always trying to find at least a Ferris wheel (which is in downtown Ekaterinburg is a great building with an observation, but most of all - a Ferris wheel) and popyrit top.


3. It certainly stunned! So high in the building I have not climbed;) 56th floor. That's just kind of in the direction of our beach there, by the way, even see our hotel (he's on on-the green forest belt on the bank directly).


4. And it's kind in the other direction - on Jomtien Beach.


5. The fact that the bottom has a water park, we found only once at the top))) We then swim in a staged of course, but the other day.


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7. On the 56th floor you can go down in different ways. There is such a car, for example, for 8 people.


8. There is an option to move out of wire ropes with the insurance down. Here's this girl at the last minute changed her mind and tried to dissuade her husband screaming, "I will not go! And you do not go! We have shared with you kids!".


9. But her husband still went: D


10. And we ... Well ... E. .. It was not that afraid ... bleat! The 56th floor! certainly points! But Chota decided that we and so many impressions. Even Anya-willed adventurer does not ... The very first in this post fotochki form at the bottom where you can see these besbashennyh and brave boys, rolling from the top.


11. Still it is possible to move this way, but together - like two seats are next. Probably lower rate in this version.


12. At the top of the sun beating down notably, but there was no wind at all, not a gram. Not a single breath. Tin, as stifling. We Anton strained smile, and Yulcha already scored, because it's already the 5th take.


13. Well, no wonder that we are [Info] real_saanvi taken! Here, although there are several family fotag )))))


14. Nazharilis, seen enough and went down to the floor below. Khaljavnogo drank the drink is included in the ticket (he was very handy) and drove down the elevator.


15. Back foot, we would have certainly not reached))) We took the free tuk-tuk and went on it whatever we want. And we have had to quickly eat something and get some rest before the evening;)

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Climbing the Sydney Harbour Bridge




Harbour Bridge, the English Harbour Bridge (the bridge across the bay) is one of the main attractions of Sydney and one of the biggest bridge arch type in the world. Local jokingly call him the "hanger". The bridge was opened in 1932. Now arch bridges is not built, so as to build a suspension or cable-stayed bridge is much easier and cheaper.

The arch of the bridge regularly lead tours. Poster promises that it will be "Your climb of a lifetime". I was tempted and useful. In practice this proved to be quite boring. On the bridge, and back we went for 2 hours, and before that for another hour listening to instructions and changed clothes. Instructors, if necessary, climb onto the bridge and back in 10 minutes ...



It all started with the fact that we have selected the cameras, phones, watches and coins. All made in hand luggage. On the body there should be nothing that could fall down.

Next, we dressed in suits of astronauts and for half an hour to hang on our belts and various insurances. After that, another half hour had been taught all this to enjoy. As a result, the briefing took an hour.

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Each of us at the inlet coupled to the steel Trossi, which runs along the entire route. We have just unbuttoned his safety strap at the output after 2 hours. During this time, we slowly climbed in single file on the first bridge and then walked with him back:

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The hardest part - this is the first ladder. It is quite steep and there is as much as 3 of the span. This is the only staircase, where we were going non-stop, and lifting the base of the arch of the bridge took about three minutes here:

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After that we went up 50 minutes, 20 minutes standing in the middle of the bridge, and then, on the other side, another 50 minutes go back. Every 50 meters we stopped, and the guide offered to take photographs of each of the 12 people in a group - cameras, then all picked:

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In the first photo requested $ 24, and for each additional 15. We have paid before the rise of 12 pictures, so it had to be photographed everywhere:

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On the bridge we went with my friend Dmitry Cherkasov. If you remember, we are with him and were at the North Pole:

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For every photograph took 10 minutes. In general, almost all the time we stood and waited for the others photographed.

When we reached the top of the arch, then crossed a narrow bridge to the other side and went down. However, until we once again took pictures:

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Together with our pictures we have recorded on the stick as a gift a few species of photographs taken by professional photographers, so we can remember what a wonderful kind of opened our eyes to the top of the bridge:

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In general slogan "Once in a lifetime experience" very correctly describes this climb. The second time there to climb on their own, few people want.

After the tour we walked on the bridge itself and made a couple of shots on your soap dish:

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Stay Tuned!

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

A place where thoughts are in order.

A dilute think I longing for the Asian summer memories of summers on the mountain Ergaki. In the two weeks that we had in July in the mountains, filled them very much. Crawled tired, happy and full of straight. Now again I miss the mountains and I want to ... Strongly hope that at the June 10-12 this year will go again for three days at Ergaki. And if no one will meet or I will not call anyone lend a light tent and go to one maybe.


1. Pictures under the cut without signatures. And many of them.




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